Empty Nest Full Heart

There's No Place Like Home

Late yesterday afternoon, we went home.  After 6 1/2 days in the hospital, I observed that arriving home induced some of the same "out of body" feelings I had after returning from a missions trip to Mexico.  It felt like we'd been on another planet, and while home was...well, home...it also felt strangely awkward, like we'd lived at the mission forever and real life was just a dream.  The same dynamic was in action in us last night.  It feels like we were gone forever.

Yesterday started with processing the frustration we'd felt the day before, thinking we were headed one way only to find the road sign pointing in a new direction.  Dr. C (the cardiologist) decided that since Flyboy had been fever-free for the entire day he might as well be discharged to wait for the rest of the test results rather than jump into a somewhat risky pericardectomy.  It felt like the past six days had been for nothing.  No answers had been arrived at and we felt somewhat abandoned.  We talked it through, reminding ourselves of God's sovereignty, even in this.

And then, one by one, the doctors started filing in, each giving their take on the situation.  First came Dr. GI (a very fine looking man, I might add...think Rick Fox), Flyboy's gastroenteroligist who was looking after his liver in all of this.  He encouraged us to be patient as blood tests take time, and then he ordered a couple more, for good measure.  Flyboy will see him in two weeks to follow up.

Next came the cardiologist's nurse, and then Dr. I (the internist).  Each one reviewed the risk of going ahead with the biopsy and the wisdom of waiting until the test results are all in.  They all agree that Flyboy is a bit of an enigma.  And that he has pericarditis and a bad cough and palpitations and elevated liver enzymes and nobody really knows why.  But they are not abandoning us and are not giving up the search for answers.  They are treating his symptoms and still looking for the cause.

Being a patient patient is not always easy.  We are programmed to want answers yesterday, and sometimes we have no choice but just to wait.  We are praying that God uses this whole experience to further His kingdom and bring glory to Himself.  We had an interesting conversation with Dr. I today who told us this suffering was Flyboy's opportunity to make atonement for sins committed in a past life and that once all the bad karma is absolved the promise of Nirvana awaits.  Flyboy casually remarked that in Christianity, we believe that Jesus paid the price for our sin.  We had several conversations with people interested in the fact that Flyboy is a pastor.  Several young nurses' aides and one phlebotomist found it almost inconceivable that we have been married almost 35 years.  And Flyboy's positive attitude, never complaining and always saying thank you did not go unnoticed.  These divine appointments gave a very difficult week meaning and we look back at them with gratitude for the opportunity to let our light shine.

Even so, it's so good to be home.

Mixed Messages + No Closure = Frustration

Last night I went into work to take care of a few things and my boss Miz B told me to tell Flyboy that if he had wanted a week with Gigi he could have just asked.  As far as hospital standards go, this has been a Cadillac experience, but it's still not the Holiday Inn and being poked over 90 times and enduring over 15 x-rays/CTs/ultrasounds has been no vacation.  And besides that, we could have spent a week on a cruise ship for far less money and had a lot more fun.

When I got back to the hospital, Dr. C (the cardiologist) was there.  He was explaining to Flyboy that since he had been fever-free for the day, they could assume he was starting to get better.  Even though we had been told all day that the likelihood was high that Flyboy would be transferred to the Heart Hospital for a biopsy, all of a sudden, Dr. C was saying something entirely different: since you're getting better, let's hold off on the biopsy and wait for the rest of the labs.  We'll check your markers in the morning and if they continue to hold steady, you'll most likely be able to go home to wait for some answers.  

I slept at home for the first time last night and am back at the hospital now for the next long wait to get the word on what happens now.  This has been a roller coaster of a week.  From being told there is a 50% chance his cancer has metastasized on the one end of the spectrum to being told that the palpitations (the reason he was admitted in the first place) are no big deal, one doesn't know quite what to think.  And I would have to admit that we are weary and frustrated after six days in the hospital.

I think that as Christians we give a high value to redemption.  Christ had to suffer untold agony, but at the end of it all there was the forgiveness of sin to show for it.  It was not in vain.  His suffering bought our freedom.  Don't get me wrong - there is no way I'm equating a week in the hospital with the sufferings of Jesus.  I'm just saying that at the end of it, it would be nice to be able to see the purpose behind it all...to see some redeeming value in the experience.  

And then there's the fact that Flyboy's cough is still racking and his heart is still palpitating, neither of which seemed to bother Dr. C much last night.  It bothers Flyboy.  And it bothers me.  And we really hoped to be at the bottom of it by now.

Answers.  That's what we've been praying for.  Answers.  That's what we don't have.  And even this reality points to God's sovereignty.  Whether or not we get answers is not up to us.  Whether or not God allows us to get to the bottom of this is completely up to Him.

And besides, as our dear friend OC (Old Curmudgeon - you know who you are) reminds us this morning (he's here visiting), there are many, many people praying for Flyboy right now and God may choose to heal him.  That would be just fine with us.  

Miz B is known for several "mantras" she likes to repeat at different times.  For example, "total paranoia is total awareness."  Or, how about this one - "Thirty billion Chinese people don't really care."  And the one that applies to this situation: "We're not driving this bus."  She is so very right.

And so, we cling to that which we know is true.  None of this is taking God by surprise.  God may choose for us to find the answers we desire, or He may not.  What happens from here is in His hands.  He is trustworthy and true and deserving of our devotion.  Whether or not He chooses to heal Flyboy or not is His business.  Cling we shall.

"Strenghth Will Rise As We Wait Upon the Lord..."

If learning to wait builds character, we must be character giants by now.  Yesterday was definitely a waiting day.  Flyboy started out the morning with a CT of his abdomen and spent most of the rest of the day with a cough and a fever.  The doctors filed in and out throughout the day, each stating that the test results still were not all in, but those that had come so far looked strangely normal.  With the exception of the liver enzymes.  And the clot marker.  And the autoimmune marker.  And the sludgy gall bladder, that has been given a number and told to stand in a long line. But other than that, nothing is pointing directly at anything.  The shotgun approach to diagnosis has thus far failed to bag the culprit.

And so we wait some more.

I went into work for a couple of hours yesterday, which was good, but also hard, as I told the story over and over.  The only time I had to fight the tears was when I was asked how Girlfriend and Elasti-girl are coping in this situation.  I know they want to be here, but the real truth remains the real truth - there is nothing anybody can do.  And their dad is not in any imminent danger.  They call each day, even though I update here and in emails because the connection is important.  Hearing each others' voices is a comfort when the miles separate us.

When I returned to the hospital, Dr. I was sitting on the couch in Flyboy's room, and I was so thankful to have arrived just in time. He was explaining (again) why Flyboy still can't go home and shaking his head at all the various pieces to this puzzle that have yet to fit together.  He did prescribe a cough syrup with codeine so Flyboy enjoyed an afternoon free of coughing.  Unfortunately it did nothing for his fever, and in that aspect, yesterday was probably his worst day since we arrived.  He slept in the morning after his CT and slept in the afternoon after lunch, felt human for about an hour and then started coughing again. 

And we're still waiting.

The cardiologist came around supper time and actually gave us a little hope that the answers might be coming tomorrow.  He ordered one more echo-cardiogram for this morning and then said the four heads would come together to collaborate and decide what to do.  Tired of dancing around the elephant in the room, I asked him point blank if leiomyosarcoma can metastasize in the pericardium.  He said, yes, it can.  Cancer can go anywhere and everywhere it wants.  Flyboy asked the obvious question:  if the virus/TB/auto-immune disease tests all come back negative, will you biopsy the pericardium?  Yes, if the four heads come together as one, all agreeing, then yes - a transfer to the heart hospital and a biopsy is next on the docket.  

More waiting.

"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.  They will mount up with wings like eagles.  They will run and not get tired.   They will walk and not become weary."  (Isaiah 40:31)   When I can remember that we're on God's time and not my own, I am fortified to continue the race.  Whether we get our way and get all the results today or not is not the most important thing.  Making a pit stop to refuel and put on a new set of running shoes in order to keep on heading to the finish line is what will get us through.  Answers are important to us, and God, who knows this and is in charge of all things, will bring them in His time.

"Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice O earth; burst into song O mountains!  For the Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones."  (Isaiah 49:13)  I am reminded that the promise of comfort should elicit the same response of worship in me as is found in all of creation - shouts and songs of joy.  Worship brings comfort and companionship in a way unrivaled by anything else.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our comforts, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the same comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)  My friend, Quiltmkr knows what it is to suffer, and as she and I make our way through our various trials, God will use us to bring comfort to others.  That is a beautifully redemptive promise, bringing meaning to what we have to go through.

How thankful we are to all those who are praying us through this present challenge.  

So - like Dash and Chicken Little like to say, "today is a new day."  I'm up early, am heading home for a quick shower and to feed the fish, then in to work for a couple of hours.  Flyboy has his final (God, please) test and hopefully...prayerfully...by afternoon when I return there should be some news.

You'll be the first to know (after our family - biological and spiritual).

Have a blessed day,

Gigi

The Land Beyond Time

These days, a person can have bypass surgery and be home sooner than this.  A woman can have a baby and go home in half the time.  Flyboy has been in the hospital since Saturday and the days are really starting to drag.  Beyond that, the longer we go without finding a solution, the worse he feels.  It's early in the morning, and between getting up to go to the bathroom and rolling over for a blood draw, that's all it took for a coughing fit.  

One of yesterday's tests revealed something with his gall bladder, and so they're doing a CT later this morning.  But not until he has to drink two more contrast "shakes".  And he's not been able to eat (no problem) or drink (big problem when you can't stop coughing) anything since last night.  Other than the contrast, of course.  His blood pressure and his blood sugar are both elevated, which delaying breakfast and morning insulin isn't going to help.

The hospital is not the place to get well.  That is not why we are here.  I have to remind myself of this fact when the frustration begins to rise.  The reason we are here is for diagnosis.  And treatment can't begin until they find the problem.  And test results take time.  Dr. I reminded us of this yesterday - that they really doing all they can to find the answers, but they just take time.  And looking at the evidence requires more blood work than one can possibly imagine and test after test.  For example, yesterday we got the news that his liver enzymes had been on the rise since our arrival at the hospital.  Admittedly, that could be a result of the EIGHT bags of antibiotics they gave him to fight a "just in case" infection while they wait for blood cultures, which can take 3-5 days to get back.  So then, the GI/liver specialist orders more blood work to try to figure out if there's some other liver problem.  

And then there's this gall bladder CT this morning to try to determine why it looked "sludgy" (whatever that means) on the ultrasound.  Enter the contrast shakes, the no food/water, and the three steps back on the constipation problem already plaguing him.

One would think an insurance company revolt is on the horizon.  Flyboy certainly hopes so.  He begins every morning telling the nurse that he wants to go home.  She smiles at him, and either says, "I don't think it will be today," or "that's up to the doctor."  

We haven't quite figured out if Dr. I (the internist) is a Christian or a Muslim. He is obviously a man of faith. Yesterday he made a comment that really resonated with me.  He was encouraging us to hang in there while they figure this thing out, and to not get panicked by the possibility that his first cancer has returned and metastasized somewhere in his body.  He told us that there is about a 50/50 chance that it's something weird (like lupus, or TB, or an obscure virus) OR cancer.  And that what we do at times like this is to pray that we want what God wants.  I thought that was very profound.  God's plan is the one that matters.  Instead of just praying for our will (healing) and asking God to align His plan with ours (now), I need to be praying for the grace to be aligned with HIS.  This thought is bringing me peace.  

So, we begin another day.  While Flyboy is drinking his contrast this morning and having his scan, I'm thinking I'll run to school for a couple of hours and try to get some stuff done.  We're figuring the dr. visits will be later rather than sooner, because of the CT.  I'm counting on this, because I do NOT want to miss it.  The answers just have to start coming soon, and hopefully, today.

But most of all, God, help me to want what You want.

Reporting Live...

The sun is coming up and our full third day at the hospital is about to begin.  I haven't written much because frankly, my creative juices have NOT been flowing.  The hospital is like a little universe all its own.  Time means nothing here.  And it sort of feels like we're in the fourth dimension - like the rest of humanity is somewhere else, going on with their lives while we live in a little microcosm where it seems time is standing still.

Flyboy just had one temperature spike yesterday, which is an improvement.  He had lots of company, which was also a good thing as it helped to pass the time.  The only "doctoring" he had was a visit from the infectious disease specialist and the hospitalist, four blood draws for various tests, and an ultrasound of all his major organs.  We're still at the place where there are more questions than answers and the answers seem to be slow in coming.

So we wait.  He is a mystery.  He has temps but is not "sick" in the traditional sense.  His heart continues to palpitate but they have ruled out heart disease.

We do know one thing for sure.  Flyboy does have pericarditis.  But as of yet, they don't know why.  Knowing why seems to be important in determining how to treat him because the inflammation is a symptom of another problem, not the problem in and of itself.  They're looking for a blood clot or a virus or a fungus or an auto-immune disease or TB or...the list goes on.

I took yesterday and today off from work, and regarding my return, am taking it a day at a time.  My wonderful boss, the inimitable Miz B is graciously encouraging me to be where I need to be.  That certainly eliminates one level of anxiety, and I appreciate her so much.

We return you to your regularly scheduled programming.  For live action news at six, this is Gigi, signing off.

Just Another Saturday...

It  started when I woke up with a splitting sinus headache that knocked me flat and took the morning to lick.  Flyboy had a meeting that lasted until noon, so I took advantage of the quiet and camped out on the couch for awhile.  

Then I tried to Skype with Elasti-girl (et al) only to get cut off repeatedly.  After reconnecting a good five times we gave up.  It was wonderful, nonetheless, to see their smiling faces and to get a look at the new coat of paint in their dining room.  Nice job, Mr. Incredible!

Flyboy came home, ate some lunch, and proceeded to cough, cough, cough.  Noting that he looked flushed, we took his temp (101.6).  Then his heart started palpitating (again) and after a few phone calls we decided on a course of action.  We went to the ER, where we have been for the past five hours.  The good news is that they caught the action on the EKG and that helped them know better where to look for the problem.  At this point they think a virus has caused fluid around his heart which has caused his symptoms.  We'll be spending the night while they continue to monitor his vitals.

Bamm-Bamm came by looking all spiffy in his dress suit (think Secret Service), having spent the morning guarding the elite at a high-end bar mitzvah.  It meant a lot to his dad to have him here, and it gave me the chance to run home for a few essentials (like my laptop - "don't leave him without it!").

So, all in all, even though this day didn't quite turn out as planned, it's all good.  Flyboy is resting comfortably, I have everything I need, and we are together.

Remembering to Date

When the kids were growing up, we were often reminded by empty nesters the importance of having a regular date night. Maintaining a strong relationship was to be given priority, with the understanding that once the kids were grown and gone, we better be able to remember each other's names and why we liked each other in the first place.

I agree that dating your spouse is indeed very important. We still have date nights occasionally - on the Friday nights that we have any gas in the tank left at all. Most Friday nights include a quick trip to Blockbuster for a DVD (we've taken to watching entire seasons of a particular TV show, one episode at a time - we like commercial free TV). When we do go out on a Friday night, it's never for dinner (unless it's to Culvers) because the other 1.5 million people in our metroplex like going out on Friday night, too, and waiting hours for a table is not our idea of fun. We do like going to Barnes and Noble for a latte and a magazine and some quiet decompression from the week.

What I've come to enjoy even more, however, is being to spend an entire Saturday together. Because we can't do this every week, it is still a special commodity, and never taken for granted. Many Saturdays, Flyboy has morning meetings or study groups, but occasionally, we find ourselves with the entire day to ourselves. Sometimes we need to catch up around the house, but every now and then, we combine errands with an excursion and turn it into an entire "date day". Here's some of the things we like to do:

- Breakfast and "This Old House" at home OR breakfast at Panera, lingering over coffee and the newspaper. Either way, a slow start is the order of the day.

- Taking a mini-road trip. Last summer, we drove about an hour to visit an organic farm. They had a grocery store in one of their outbuildings, and getting out of the city and back to nature was extremely therapeutic. Right now, we're planning our next day trip - a tour of the city's historic churches. We live in the suburbs of a very old city complete with some very old and very beautiful churches. As soon as the snow melts and it greens up a bit, we're planning a drive around to see them and take pictures.

- Another thing we like to do is pretend we're tourists in our own city. We laugh that we have probably seen more of our city than many people who have lived here their whole lives. We served a church for 13 years that is less than two hours from where we live now, and we used to come here to "get away". Before we ever moved here we'd seen the indoor botanical gardens, the public museum, the lakefront, the zoo, and more. We are finding, though, that the more we see, the more we realize there is yet to be seen. I'm guessing the same is true in your hometown.

- For us (we must be getting old), it's important to NOT over plan. If we have errands, we try to eat lunch while we're out to plan in time for relaxation and conversation. We plot our errands to make the best use of our time and gasoline. Our goal is to not drive ourselves crazy but to get a little something done while enjoying the time together at the same time.

Because we both work, we find it is just as important to schedule time together as it was when the kids were home. Instead of going our own directions on Saturdays, we try to divide and conquer whenever we can. Sometimes that requires sharing the home chores first so we can enjoy the rest of the day guilt-free. Sometimes we blow off everything responsible and just enjoy the time together.

This is one of the benefits of cancer and looking mortality square in the face. It's realizing the importance of every day and the gift of the time we have together.

Confession Time

Well, I have a couple of confessions to make today.  First of all, when I encouraged comment making, I did not expect to find a new one so soon!  Many thanks to Jennifer for sharing her heart.  It's sort of like having to learn to walk all over again when the kids leave and the roles change and everything is different.  Jaycee will be encouraged by your comment as you identified with her struggle.  Thank you!  Jennifer is starting a new chapter in her life in a new place with the support of family close by.  And in Denver, no less!  Flyboy graduated from Denver Seminary and we have many fond memories of the city.  I love Denver for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that in Denver, I always knew my directions (I am unbelievable directionally challenged - confession #2) because the mountains were always to the west.  

On a more personal note, my third confession of the day is that I have been in a real sulky snit for a good couple of weeks.  Truthfully, watching Flyboy struggle with a new set of symptoms for about a month has just about put me over the edge.  When you've been through cancer with the person you love most in the whole world (and not once, but twice!), you sort of feel like you deserve a break.  Flyboy has not had a break in a very long time and frankly I'm really getting tired of it.  He has actually had a better attitude than me and even that fact has rubbed me a little the wrong way.  Come on, Flyboy, feel just a little sorry for yourself!  Like the old proverbial chicken and the egg, we've struggled to determine if his new symptoms are a result of his diabetes medication suddenly not working anymore or if his diabetes is out of control because of his new symptoms.  He visited yet another new specialist today who was not helpful in any way, shape or form.  In fact, after Flyboy sat in the room for over an hour, the doctor was interrupted  repeatedly, making for a very choppy visit.  When he did ask questions, he would accept only a yes/no answer.  In the end, he ordered another expensive test, which may or may not be covered by insurance.  I was working my way up to an all out tantrum when Flyboy reminded me that all of this - the referral to this doctor, the weird appointment, the non-answers, and the less than satisfactory game plan - was no surprise to God.  God knew all this would happen and allowed it to be.  He, in His sovereignty, has not willed that Flyboy be free of health problems, and did not plan for us to have the answers we so wanted today.  And then, Flyboy told me over a bowl of soup at Panera that he is not so sure he's willing to be a human guinea pig any longer.  And together, we sorted our way through what had happened.  He is starting to think that he is not willing to submit to the next round of tests, but instead wants to focus on getting his blood sugar back under control (which will mean a return to insulin 4 times a day), and then see how the rest of him feels.  I am oddly at peace with this plan.

I think I've come full circle.  I am willing to support whatever he wants to do (or not do).  I am willing to put him back into the hands of God, no matter what that means.  I am willing to stop obsessing and set aside my fears in order to trust in God's plan, even when I can't see what it looks like.  I am reminded that it's not our circumstances that dictate our responses.  It's how we choose to view our circumstances.  I'm feeling better already.

Support is the Right Tool for the Job

Nurturing one another's hobbies is one of the best ways to keep love alive in the empty nest years.  These are finally the years when we have the time and energy to invest in something that interests us.  It seemed those decades lived in the minivan and at football games and cross country meets and orthodontist chairs would never come to an end, but alas they did.  I never had time for hobbies in those days, or should I say never made time - I had friends who had hobbies but I always felt too busy between the demands of home, church, and later work.  And then, when we made a move to rural Iowa, where I was unable to find a job, I all of a sudden had this sense of creative energy starting to bubble up within.  I realized that the previous years were a bit of a blur but now...now, I could breathe.  The two and a half years we spent there were energizing for me.  I rediscovered the kitchen and actually lived there instead of just flying through.  I had a friend who encouraged me to begin to sew and got me started in basic quilting.  

Flyboy, on the other hand, has always had a penchant for woodworking.  He spent all but about $5 of our very first tax refund on a table saw and a radial arm saw and several other things.  His hobbying has been sporadic through the years, but he, too, has found new life in the empty nest days and has really created several wonderful pieces.  And in our current house, he has his very own workshop space, which he loves, and his next project will be to create custom California closets in our bedroom.  

Flyboy has always been a believer in "the right tool for the right job" and when I was ready to start sewing, he marched me right out and had me pick out a new sewing machine, a cutting board and rotary cutter, a big plastic ruler and a good pair of scissors.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so affirmed in something I wanted to do, and my heart welled up with new appreciation for him.

Today, it's his turn!  Exactly one year ago today, Flyboy and a friend went to the annual woodworking show at the fairground exhibition center.  There were plenty of tools there to drool over, and drool he did.  He turned to absolute mush when he spied a new table saw, light years ahead of his 35 year old model.  He hemmed and he hawed and he drooled some more, but he just couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger without discussing an expenditure of that magnitude with me first.  He walked away from the table saw.  And he came home to tell me about it, feeling somewhat proud that he had resisted.  I exclaimed, "What?  You didn't buy it?  Why not???"  And his heart welled up with a new appreciation for the support he knew he had in me.  And his eyes welled up with tears that the table saw was still sitting on the exhibition hall floor instead of in his shop. Not really - it was more like a Chewbacca yell filling the room, such was his disappointment.  

Well, anyway, as Dash likes to say, "today is a new day."  And today, one year later, is opening day at the annual woodworking show.  And you'll never guess which booth Flyboy is heading to first.  He has tried to prepare himself for the fact that the deal might not be as sweet as it was last year, but he's not taking any chances on missing out and will be there as soon as the doors open.

Nothing says "I believe in you" like putting your money where your mouth is.  

Our Favorite Things

The complaint of many empty nesters is the loss of relationship through the years.  While hurriedly transporting kids to the orthodontist and coaching little league in between work and school, it is all too easy to let things slide at home.  We find time to do the laundry because we have to, but date nights are the first thing to go when life gets crazy.

I went to work full time as our kids were approaching college age and we experienced it, too - spending time together had to be an appointment on the calendar or it didn't happen.  Fortunately for us, it was during those years, too, that we engaged in marriage counseling, so we had the challenge of learning how to deal with our issues to keep us talking.  Actually, I'd have to say that marriage counseling a few years before the nest begins to empty is a really, really good idea.  Preparing for the reality that the relationships in the house decrease exponentially when the kids move out and figuring out how to cope with it before it happens is one of the smartest things couples can do.  It's the ones that wait until after the kids are gone to realize they don't have anything in common anymore that find themselves in trouble.

Since our nest has been empty, we've been discovering all sorts of things we like to do together. Here are a few of them:

1) Saturday morning breakfast.  We love it when Flyboy is home (he frequently has Saturday morning meetings) and we start the morning slow with a long, leisurely breakfast.

2) Going out for coffee.  Sitting at Barnes & Noble with a latte and a stack of magazines for me and Flyboy with the latest David Eddings novel is our idea of fun on a Friday night.

3) Walking on the lakeshore.  This is NOT the time of the year for it, but we do love to walk along the lake, down the jetty, around the marina...and we usually stop for coffee there, too.

4) Playing Rummikub.  I'm a word person, so I gravitate toward Upwords.  Flyboy is not.  Rummikub is our compromise.  And we really enjoy playing it together.  And the best thing about Rummikub?  It's not chess.  We cannot play chess together.  Around here, it's a home wrecker.  We learned that a long time ago.

5) Playing miniature golf.  Again, this is the wrong season, but we do like to  mini-put.  We are pretty evenly matched.  We like trying new courses and when we're on vacation, we'll often seek out a place to play.

6) Geo-caching.  If you've never tried geo-caching, it's fun and addicting.  Using a GPS, you find a hidden cache by following a set of coordinates.  It's a great way to get some exercise and enjoy the out of doors.  And along with it comes the gift of time - time to be together and talk.

7) Sightseeing.  Even around home, there are countless things to see and learn about.  Our city has a number of historic churches, and this spring, we plan to drive around to all of them, hearing the stories they tell, taking pictures, and enjoying each other's company in the process.

These are a few of our favorite things.