The complaint of many empty nesters is the loss of relationship through the years. While hurriedly transporting kids to the orthodontist and coaching little league in between work and school, it is all too easy to let things slide at home. We find time to do the laundry because we have to, but date nights are the first thing to go when life gets crazy.
I went to work full time as our kids were approaching college age and we experienced it, too - spending time together had to be an appointment on the calendar or it didn't happen. Fortunately for us, it was during those years, too, that we engaged in marriage counseling, so we had the challenge of learning how to deal with our issues to keep us talking. Actually, I'd have to say that marriage counseling a few years before the nest begins to empty is a really, really good idea. Preparing for the reality that the relationships in the house decrease exponentially when the kids move out and figuring out how to cope with it before it happens is one of the smartest things couples can do. It's the ones that wait until after the kids are gone to realize they don't have anything in common anymore that find themselves in trouble.
Since our nest has been empty, we've been discovering all sorts of things we like to do together. Here are a few of them:
1) Saturday morning breakfast. We love it when Flyboy is home (he frequently has Saturday morning meetings) and we start the morning slow with a long, leisurely breakfast.
2) Going out for coffee. Sitting at Barnes & Noble with a latte and a stack of magazines for me and Flyboy with the latest David Eddings novel is our idea of fun on a Friday night.
3) Walking on the lakeshore. This is NOT the time of the year for it, but we do love to walk along the lake, down the jetty, around the marina...and we usually stop for coffee there, too.
4) Playing Rummikub. I'm a word person, so I gravitate toward Upwords. Flyboy is not. Rummikub is our compromise. And we really enjoy playing it together. And the best thing about Rummikub? It's not chess. We cannot play chess together. Around here, it's a home wrecker. We learned that a long time ago.
5) Playing miniature golf. Again, this is the wrong season, but we do like to mini-put. We are pretty evenly matched. We like trying new courses and when we're on vacation, we'll often seek out a place to play.
6) Geo-caching. If you've never tried geo-caching, it's fun and addicting. Using a GPS, you find a hidden cache by following a set of coordinates. It's a great way to get some exercise and enjoy the out of doors. And along with it comes the gift of time - time to be together and talk.
7) Sightseeing. Even around home, there are countless things to see and learn about. Our city has a number of historic churches, and this spring, we plan to drive around to all of them, hearing the stories they tell, taking pictures, and enjoying each other's company in the process.
These are a few of our favorite things.
Comments